


My heart, my soul, and my everything

by IndigoDream



Series: Bribe & Reward fics [10]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: (?), Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Insecure Jaskier | Dandelion, Kissing, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Monster of the Week, NOT IN GERASKIER, Non-Human Jaskier | Dandelion, Pining, Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Undetermined Creature of some sort Jaskier, its in canonverse but no its not the canon timeline bc fuck that amiright, there is a monster in there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:42:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27139552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndigoDream/pseuds/IndigoDream
Summary: He has loved a thousand time, and he will most likely do still. He falls in love with everyone, and he loves how everyone feels some love for him as well. Admiration, praises, stolen moments in the dark… They all count for him, they all make the futile little thing that beats in his chest matter.Well. Nearly everyone gives him some love. The only person Jaskier needs some love from, the only person he didn’t only give his heart to, but also his soul and life, doesn’t have any love back for him. Wonderful.---Jaskier loves Geralt. Has for a long time now, but Geralt doesn't love him back. A fateful meeting with a monster might change that.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Bribe & Reward fics [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745836
Comments: 18
Kudos: 271





	My heart, my soul, and my everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meowvelous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowvelous/gifts).



> Woohoo 
> 
> This is late, and whack out of my usual posting schedule, but hell yea this was fun 
> 
> Also: yeah i couldn't be bothered to figure out a monster that would fit so i created one. sometimes, life is just Like That, y'know?
> 
> Enjoy!

Jaskier knows he has a weak heart. He knows he falls in love too easily, gives his heart away with every fleeting romance. It is something he has always been told not to do, something he knows is childish and ridiculous. And yet. He still does it. A woman gives him a soft kiss at the end of one of his performances, and he promises her his undying love. 

In a way, he has never lied. He has loved a thousand time, and he will most likely do still. He falls in love with everyone, and he loves how everyone feels some love for him as well. Admiration, praises, stolen moments in the dark… They all count for him, they all make the futile little thing that beats in his chest matter. 

Well. Nearly everyone gives him some love. The only person Jaskier needs some love from, the only person he didn’t only give his heart to, but also his soul and life, doesn’t have any love back for him. Wonderful.

“Jaskier!” Geralt barks, from atop Roach’s saddle, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him closer. “Watch where you are walking, damn it!” 

The bard is pulled out of his thought by the rough hand half lifting him, and he yelps. There is a sharp bend in the road, and he had nearly walked into a small pit. At the bottom of it, he can see poison ivy and brambles, as well as some sharp stones. He guesses that having fallen into it would probably have hurt for days on end. 

“Sorry,” he apologizes, and Geralt’s angry look makes him feel smaller. “I didn’t mean to-“ 

“I don’t care for your apology,” the witcher snaps. “Just stop thinking about your damn music and start watching your feet!” 

“I’ll get right on that,” he says, smiling a bit, and Geralt sighs and nods. “So, tell me, my dear witcher, where are we heading?” 

“You don’t need to know.” 

Jaskier holds back a sigh, and keeps walking. By sundown, they are in an inn, and Jaskier is drowning his sorrows in alcohol and song. There is a man, young, probably about twenty five years old, looking at him with a grin, and when Jaskier raises his glass towards him, shooting him a flirty wink at the end of his song, he looks even more interested. Good, it will make for a distraction. 

Because Geralt is talking with a woman, and the worst of it is that she is _pretty_. The beautiful, ethereal ones, Geralt doesn’t allow much near him; he always thinks he is not worth such a beauty. At the brothels they visit, he always picks the women who aren’t too pretty, the ones with crooked smiles and scars on their shoulders, proof of a life that was too harsh on them. When Jaskier had asked if it was because of money, in which case he wouldn’t mind helping Geralt pay, but Geralt had laughed. 

“The ones you go after are good for you, and for the men like you. They don’t want a witcher. I can smell their fear, its stench fills my nose. I would rather fuck a whore who doesn’t care whether she is being fucked by a beast or a man as long as she gets paid, than one who believes I’m the worst combination of both and feel tainted by being touched by me.” 

It had hurt to hear that. Geralt is no monster, and to Jaskier, he has never been. He never will be. Jaskier has given him his everything the minute he had seen him in Posada, and he has not seen anything that could have changed his mind ever since. He knows it is futile, his hopeless chase after Geralt, the way he follows after him like a kicked puppy, but he can’t help himself. He needs to be around Geralt, even if it hurts, even if every time he sees Geralt with someone else, it rips his heart away from his chest, throws it on the ground, and tramples all over it with heavy, witchery boots. 

Jaskier watches with bitterness as the woman, plump with long dark hair and dark eyes, puts a hand on Geralt’s arm and smiles. He turns his head away, back to the man who was looking at him. His stranger is smirking, and Jaskier takes a swig of ale, the alcohol starting to buzz pleasantly in his veins. Only a bit more and he won’t have to think about how Geralt is going to bring back that woman to their room and fuck her. Maybe by then, Jaskier himself will be getting fucked, and he will be thinking about gold eyes and white hair as it happens. 

He gets lost in his songs, in the heavy look of the stranger, of the way the man’s lips curl into a smirk as he notices he has captured Jaskier’s attention for the moment. He is half-hidden in the shadows, and his free hand keeps a steady rhythm over his crotch, where Jaskier knows his half-hard cock waits for attention. 

He is half drunk by the time he is done with his performance, and he talks with a few people. The grin on his face hurts, his cheeks too pulled from the action, and his throat is dry, but his stranger is waiting by the door. His eyes are two bright green spots, and Jaskier wants to drown in them, to forget all about gold for one minute. He wants to be outside of his thoughts, wants that stranger’s hands on him, without him even knowing his name or what he does. Jaskier wants to feel something besides that unbearable crushing sadness in his chest. 

Slipping out of his crowds of admirers, he slings his lute over his back and tucks his earnings in his doublet’s pockets. He will rent himself his own room when he comes back.Well. If he does come back while it is still worth it to rent a room. If not, he will simply go lay in Roach’s stall, and enjoy his favourite girl’s company. However it happens, Jaskier has enough coin for separate rooms next time they stop at an inn. It should make Geralt plenty enough happy. 

His stranger has already slipped outside by the time Jaskier reaches the door, and he feels a thrill of excitement runs through him. Pushing the door open, he finds his stranger waiting by the corner of the street, grinning and eyes shining, and Jaskier grins back, taking a few long strides towards him. But the other man slips away again, back in between the houses, and Jaskier follows. The man is only a couple of meters in front of Jaskier, and he feels his blood boiling with anticipation. He can’t wait to be touched, to be wanted, to be _loved_. No matter how briefly, Jaskier thrives from love. 

Finally the man stops, turns himself completely to Jaskier, and curls a finger invitingly. Jaskier goes willingly enough, and he finds himself pushed against the wall. The mouth that kisses his is ferocious and he lets out a wanton moan, feeling a knee nudging his legs apart. He lets it happen. 

When claws dig into his sides, he lets it happen too. He can feel the spell being woven over him, the magic of that thing being wrapped around him, but he doesn’t resist. What good would it bring? The beast will soon realize that Jaskier can’t exactly be hurt like it wants. 

It doesn’t have a chance to. With a disgusting sound, a silver sword pierces from his lower back to his upper torso, and black blood drips on Jaskier’s doublet. The bard lets out a disappointing sigh as his hopes of actually getting laid that evening die. 

“Did you have to kill him?” Jaskier asks, glaring at his witcher. 

“Jaskier, it was intent on eating you.” Geralt looks at him, astonished. “What do you mean did I have to kill it? I saved your life!” 

“Oh my life would have been just fine,” Jaskier rolls his eyes. “I don’t need you to come save my fucking life every time you think I’m in danger.” 

“‘Think’? Jaskier, do you even know what that creature was?” 

“Of course I do!” Jaskier snaps. “You think I can’t tell a Beren when I see one? Who do you take me for, some helpless fucking idiots who trails after you without knowing the dangers it could entail? I know what it wanted! I knew from the beginning!” 

Geralt looks taken aback. “Then, why did you follow it? Why would you put yourself at risk like that, when I was right there? I could have helped you before.” 

“I didn’t want your help!” Jaskier yells, and tears fall down his cheeks. Gods, he is so drunk. “You were off fucking that pretty waitress anyway and-“ 

“What are you talking about?” Geralt interrupts, and then checks the claw marks on Jaskier’s cheeks and on his side. “There is no poison, did you drink something you shouldn’t have?” 

Why are his hands so gentle? Jaskier could cry from it. Why does Geralt always have to be so considerate, so sweet, when Jaskier just wants him to stop? 

“Stop,” he pushes away Geralt, and he must put more strength in the movement than he had intended. Geralt’s few steps back are stumbled, and he looks at Jaskier with more and more astonishment. “Why do you always do this? I’m not poisoned, I’m not drugged! I’m just-“ 

He struggles to find his words, the tears running down his cheeks and stopping his breathing. He is a mess, the alcohol heightening his already greater emotions. 

“I’m lonely, alright? I’m lonely and in love and I wanted to forget for five minutes that you don’t love me back and-“ 

“Wait, you love _me_?” Geralt interrupts, walking closer. “You are in love with _me_?” 

“Who else,” Jaskier sobs. “Who else could be so stupidly brave and courageous, so kind and patient, and who else could just tear my heart apart and-“ 

“Tear your heart apart?” Geralt repeats the words in a distressed tone, and his hands come to cup Jaskier’s cheeks gently. “Please, don’t say those things…” 

“Why not,” Jaskier says through his tears.”Why can’t I say it? It’s true. You don’t love me, I know it, and it’s fine! I just, for once, I wanted to… I wanted to feel wanted again.” 

“You are wanted,” Geralt whispers, pained. “So wanted. I want you, all the time. You make me go crazy, Jaskier. Always flirting with everyone but me, never even just giving me a flirty look.”

“I, what?” Jaskier stutters, words forming and being undone on his tongue as his alcohol-muddled brain tries to comprehend what is happening. “You- What?” 

Geralt smiles, a soft thing that Jaskier cherishes for the few seconds he sees it, and then soft lips are pressed against his own, and he melts. The kiss drags on, both of them chasing after the other’s lips, and Jaskier is clinging to Geralt’s shirt by the time the witcher draws back for some air. 

“I love you,” Geralt says, simple and easy, like the words don’t make Jaskier’s world shift on its axis, as if suddenly life doesn’t make sense again. “You are drunk.” 

“Maybe,” Jaskier half-agrees. “Say it again.” 

“You’re drunk,” Geralt repeats with an amused look, and when Jaskier swats at his chest, he laughs. “I love you, Jaskier.” 

Jaskier surges forward and kisses him again, and then feels himself being lifted. He wraps his legs around Geralt’s waist and the witcher gives him a fondly annoyed look. 

“You know it’s not the most easy to walk like this.” 

“I know. But this way, everyone will know you are mine.” Jaskier pouts. “And pretty maids will stop being alluring around you.” 

“She was telling me that the previous partners of your Beren hadn’t been seen in a few days,” Geralt chuckles and walks them inside, grabbing Jaskier’s discarded lute on the way. “Without her, I wouldn’t have known you were its next target.” 

Jaskier grumbles, pushing his head in his witcher’s neck. “Fine. But I still don’t like it.” 

“My heart is only yours,” Geralt whispers gently as they walk through the inn, quiet enough that the words are more of a puff of air in Jaskier’s ears. “Is that not enough?” 

“You have my heart, my soul, my everything,” Jaskier says plaintively. “But I suppose I will take your heart happily.” 

“You already have everything else. You said it yourself, I’m yours.” 

Those words in Geralt’s voice make Jaskier grin, secret and happy as he hides it in his lover’s neck. 

That night, he only accepts to part from Geralt when they both get changed from their blood splattered, half torn clothing, but immediately after, he presses himself back against the witcher. 

He gave his heart, his soul, his _everything_ , to Geralt of Rivia the minute he saw him. And it seems the witcher did the same with him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I want to mention that this was supposed to be a ficlet 
> 
> as we can see, i failed. 
> 
> Anyhoo, if you enjoyed, don't hesitate to leave a comment or kudos! And you can always come check me out on tumblr (@saltytransidiot) :D 
> 
> lots of love and stay safe ~


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